This is from my morning journaling, Monday June 1st, 2020
It is pretty much unedited
…I am struggling with anxiety, and disappointment in the political conversation in general. It is very hard for me when faced with the scope of the problems in every newspaper, to stay focused on the small, homely solutions that I believe are my personal work. Reading, gardening, and baking bread probably don’t sound like legitimate ways to save the world. And I’m certainly not stupid enough to suggest to Black Americans that planting a Hawthorne tree or baking their own bread is going to prevent them being murdered in the streets. I am suggesting that by questioning the white supremacist and capitalist definitions of happiness and success we may be able to get white people to settle down enough to be part of the solution.
Giving up my privileges as a white woman is a daunting idea, I’m not going to deny that. But if I can find my joy in little things that I will not have to give up—like cooking and gardening, reading and crafting, my cats, my friends, long talks with my husband—then it becomes less scary, less overwhelming. In a capitalist society our happiness is based on consumerism, and not being able to afford things is a cause for shame. But cheap goods are dependent upon racism and exploitation. So we are trained early on to need racism in order to be happy, to be good consumers, good citizens. When the oppressed object to the system our whole identity is shaken, our way of being in the world, our sense of good and bad, of happy and unhappy.
I personally want to be less invested in the system, and am making an effort to investigate my assumptions, so that my identity is not threatened by someone else’s cry for justice. I want instead to live within the Quaker ideal of Simplicity, to be ready and able to act when justice is needed.
Thank you for listening,
Susan
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